Oakland — This year has been a wild ride for many people regarding the word that ends with -ship. If you are still holding out for the toxic people in your life, cut them off before the start of the new year and start with yourself.
If you are still in a toxic relationship and want to just get rid of that person, please do yourself a favor and dump that person. I know how hard it is to finally just block that person and get on with life without ever thinking about that again. Trust me, that's something that you may want to work on yourself and may aim for next year.
One of the ways I got out of a relationship a few years ago was by accepting that I was in that situation and just building a social support group, by leaning on loved ones as you are leaving and family accepting the fact that- that person doesn't love you back. They are not going to change for you. Just heal and let go.
Now situations are fun but if you catch yourself gaining some sort of feelings for this person and they keep saying things like “I want you but school is really hard right now.” Run and don't look back.
The lack of labels makes a situation tricky because you don't know what the other person wants when things get serious. With a situationship you never get the chance to get to know the other person on a deeper level and how they truly would act in a relationship with you, so you are leaving everything up to interpretation. Every situationship is different- you just have to know what you want and how to focus on the reality of it.
This part of getting over toxic friendships this year is rather difficult and just mentally even more draining than any other -ship. I guess it was more challenging to get over that because it was a close friend you could rely on for emotional support and the process of your life- now not having them in your life is something that gives you a sense of loss and time for grieving that sort of friendship that you had with the person.
Seek out friends when you are ready to leave that friendship alone. I know how difficult it can be and insanely depressing to just not have the value of friendship anymore, but put yourself first in this.
Ana G. Valdes, (she/her) is an Oakland-based journalist who covers culture and entertainment, films and TV shows.
Edited by Nykeya Woods