Content in partnership with KCBS

What It Feels Like to Have a ‘Lunchbox Moment’

Finally, three minutes into me sitting quietly at my desk, my food untouched, someone said something. “Shriya, why does your food look so gross?”

05.30.23
What It Feels Like to Have a ‘Lunchbox Moment’ (Shriya Dharmapurikar/YR Media)

Durham, NCSometimes, lunch is the only bearable part of a school day, but for many in the Asian American community, it comes with stress, anxiety and trauma. 

My first “lunchbox moment" happened in kindergarten. My mom woke up early in the morning before work to make me Upama, a classic Maharashtrian Indian breakfast food. I remember feeling excited carrying it to school. But when lunch rolled around, my excitement faded.

Everyone around me noticed that my lunch was different; they could smell the spices, and they didn’t like them. Finally, three minutes into me sitting quietly at my desk, my food untouched, someone said something. “Shriya, why does your food look so gross?”  

I was mortified. I quickly closed the container, packed it away, and I swore to myself: I would never bring Indian food for lunch. Never again. 

Now, my plan didn’t work out because my parents are even more stubborn than I am. But from then onwards, bringing Indian food for lunch became something negative, something to be worried about, and something to be scared of. Unfortunately, the comments didn’t stop. As kids learned to filter their words, they turned into weird looks and dirty glances.

I’m in high school now. And the fear still lingers. Unfortunately, I’m not alone in experiencing this “lunchbox anxiety.” For many, bringing cultural lunches is a big part of the Asian American experience, it can range from being a normalized to angering experience.

I won’t discount the fact that my community has become more open and accepting of cultural foods. But unfortunately, sometimes, this acceptance is boxed into categories. Some of my friends can hardly fathom the fact that chicken tikka masala is not and will never be a staple Indian dish. But really, often this kind of stereotyping doesn’t come from a place of hate, or racism. Just pure ignorance. 

So, next time you see someone eating the classic Indian dish, daal and rice, don't ask them if it's Indian mac and cheese, and maybe, learn a little about the dish. I promise you, it'll make both of you feel a little bit better.

A version of this story also aired on KCBS.

Support the Next Generation of Content Creators
Invest in the diverse voices that will shape and lead the future of journalism and art.
donate now
Support the Next Generation of Content Creators
Invest in the diverse voices that will shape and lead the future of journalism and art.
donate now