Figuring Out Your 20s: Long-Distance Relationships with Family
Maintaining those relationships that center us makes living far away bearable.
(Getty Images)
Although I experienced living away from my family when I went to college, after moving 2,000 miles to a new state, I found the most complicated challenge was missing my family and everything from slight to big moments. I love the freedom to grow and experience adulthood without pressure, but I still feel guilty about being so far away and missing out on so much.
Missing holidays and celebrations like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and birthdays, I’m constantly thinking about ways to maintain strong connections with my family despite the distance.
Here’s how I’m maintaining connection with family members while living far away:
- Regular phone calls every week: I consistently communicate with my family throughout the week. During the week I dedicate 1 to 2 times to phone calls, with no limit on how long or short they are, and text at least 2 to 3 days throughout the week.
- Being intentional with conversations: instead of small talk, I make it a point to discuss my thoughts, feelings, and experiences with my family to deepen our relationship. I especially prioritize sharing details of my life and being an active listener.
- Celebrating holidays even when I’m not there: during holidays like Valentine’s Day, when I cannot physically be with my family, I do things like schedule flowers to be delivered to family members, or during birthdays, I call at midnight, have gifts delivered and try to still show up for the people I care about.
- Staying longer when I visit: when visiting my family for holidays, I try to stay with my family longer to spend quality time together and make it a priority to focus on getting special moments together, documenting things, and all around being soaked up in their presence.
The growing pains of adulthood include the difficult decision to live far from your family. Although it’s hard to be still present while being far away, there are still ways you can show up and navigate those relationships in the digital age we’re in now.
Tracy Noze is a Seattle-based journalist.
Edited by Nykeya Woods