Dear random NSA officer,
It might have been my web search for notorious murderers that led you to my electronic abode but I promise, I don’t share their homicidal interests. I was just doing research.
It’s okay if you search through my stuff, though. I have nothing to hide - from you.
I know, I spend a little too much time looking at different nail art tutorials, but I have to make sure my nails are on point.
And I probably shouldn’t have watched every episode of Avatar: the Last Airbender in one week, but hey, at least I don’t go searching through other people’s stuff all day.
Just to help you out, most of my text messages are just silly conversations with friends, or questions about physics homework. You might find out about the latest gossip that fills my monotonous high school life, but that’s pretty much it.
My phone calls, on the other hand, are a different story. From what I know about the NSA, you don’t actually listen to the conversations, you just look at the times the calls were made and how long they lasted. So you’re probably wondering what my conversations at 3 a.m. are about. Sorry, you’ll have to get a wire-tap next time.
I’m not afraid of you spying on me, and I don’t think I’ll ever be flagged because of my adolescent curiosity. But there was once a time when privacy was an important part of our American identity, and I think that many Americans probably wouldn’t want your federal nose up in their business.
So my question to the NSA is: why can’t you just ask? If you did, I’d be more than happy to let you take a peek into my boring online life.
Your friend, and loyal citizen,