Blue Valentine (2010) Does Ryan Gosling make you need a cold shower? Are your parents divorced? If you answered yes to either of these questions, watch Blue Valentine. It’s a naturalistic indie-drama, cataloguing the catalyst and destruction of a couple’s marriage. It may be a tear-jerker for some, in fact I showed it to my bestie and she hasn’t believed in love since, but it conveys the transience of love and life all in breathtaking 35 millimeter. Available to stream on Amazon Video for $2.99, YouTube $7.99, Google Play $7.99, or iTunes $3.99. Y Tu Mamá También (2001) Get your screens ready for Y Tu Mamá También -- a scoping road film that will invoke your lust for life. Follow Julio and Tenoch, who are BFFs minus the forever, as they take a wiser older woman on a beachfront road trip. Me? I’m single because I think monogamy is a sham, so this one really butters my biscuit. Y Tu Mamá También spotlights how jealousy is really a product of insecurity and hypermasculinity. Plus, Gael Garcia Bernal is in it. And if you wouldn’t trade in your tinder match of the month for this man, you’re lying to yourself. Available to stream on Netflix, Amazon Video for $2.99, or iTunes $3.99. Harold and Maude (1971) Do you love older women? Cause I do! And so does Harold, in this early '70s dramedy Harold and Maude, which will challenge your perspective on romance. What better way to learn how to love then from a pro? Emo 20-year-old Harold learns from free-spirited 80-year-old Maude and it is a romance for the ages! Literally. If you feel lonesome this week surrounded by all the saccharine materialist valentine’s day propaganda, listen to Maude: “L-I-V-E! Live! Otherwise, you got nothing to talk about in the locker room." Available to stream on Amazon Video for $0.99, YouTube $2.99, Google Play $2.99, or iTunes $3.99.
And remember, even if you're watching TV solo tonight, at the end of the day you got you. Protect your heart. Go buy yourself a candy bar. And Happy Valentine’s day, chumps.