I thought my friends, the people I called my brothers, hated me. I spent more time with them then my actually family, a sad truth, but a truth all in all. We were inseparably we all did everything together whether it be building bikes or card games. But I started feeling like they were pushing me off to the side. I guess we all grow sometimes is the cliché, but I think they all just got tired of me. I knew I was too much sometimes, I wasn’t the coolest in the group, nor was I the calmest; I guess you could call me the annoying little brother. Thinking back, I guess I was a little too loud or a little to childish. But I really just wanted to be me and I thought they were the people I could do that with. We met through school and sports was the link that connected us. We all varied in age and seniority, so our group got a little smaller each year. The people who graduated became busy and a ghost to us but we would see them every once and a while. I would always be more excited to see them then they were to see me though. I didn’t mind, I was happy. A few years past, more people left, and they people that had gone had fewer reasons to come visit. I started to feel lonely. I found out they where hiding plans from me. I felt betrayed, unwanted and just a pain in the side. I really started to hate everyone. I shut myself out. I saw no real reason to do anything, so I refused to waste my time or energy. Then after meeting up with some old friends I realized I was wrong, about almost everything. The only reason I felt lonely was because I was so close-minded and that I was being unreasonable. They helped me realize there is no real reason to hate anyone for any reason. That if you calm down and think, you can still smile, and be you, you can never change who you are and you shouldn’t try. I started talking to my other friends again, I feel like we’ll never be as close as we were but it doesn’t matter as long as we are all happy. As long as we can hang out every once and a while, or as long as I know I can count on someone it doesn’t matter. And the people that helped me through it, even if they didn’t know they did, helped me trust again. They really are the best. This experience hurt for a while, but i was never alone, nor are you. I believe people have good hearts. If you feel like the world is against you take a step back, breath, and forget everthing. Hit up some friends or take some alone time and just do you.
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