In 2012 I said my last goodbyes to my dear friend who was murdered. She was only 16 and a mother to an 8 month-old child. I found out waking up one early morning on a summer day. My sister told me that my friend was killed. I didn’t believe it because she found out on Twitter. But when I turned the T.V on, I saw her face on my T.V. screen. It said female 16 years old was shot and killed. I regret everyday before that not seeing her. Knowing that I was suppose to see her months before made me build up guilt because I wasn’t able to see my friend one last time. When she was murdered I changed a lot of my ways. I had a lot of trust issues and I didn’t want to go out as much because I was living in fear. Looking at her lifeless body and her pale skin that once glowed made me shake, living in a nightmare where I wanted to wakeup. But it was reality I had to face, I had to face the fact that she always would be here in my heart but she is not physically here. Constant flashbacks made me in denial about her death.
I grieved for a long time and I was anti-social. I cried every time I thought about her. I had to face that she’s in a better place and I have to smile about the memories we shared. You can’t live with guilt because that’s not living your life. Don’t hold grudges towards people. Spend time with people that are special to you because you don’t know when you’re going to say your last goodbyes.