Oakland, CA — Dating nowadays can seem like a daunting task, with apps like Tinder, Bumble and Grindr; we’ve made ourselves readily available to the whole world with a quick swipe in hopes to find that special someone. Can’t we just fast-forward to the part to where we binge-watch Netflix?
We know that it’s easier said than done, so we just want to congratulate you for being a brave soul and taking the first step into dating. We compiled some tips and tricks that might come in handy when trying to swipe or slide in dm’s. We want to share some game that might be useful to secure that second date with the person you're hella into. Granted, navigating the tricky waters of dm’s and mustering up the energy to follow through with plans can be exciting and nerve-wracking all at the same time. Try and have fun, be comfortable and confident in who you are. Go get’em.
Step One: Pre-Date “Talking”
To make it to the second date, make sure you put effort into the pre-date conversation. We call this “Talking.” Make an effort to understand each other’s boundaries and intentions before moving forward. If there’s a spark, set up the date! Set your plans for the date and make sure you have a backup plan for your backup plan. Ensuring that you have a plan A, B and C will help move things along in case you get hit with a curveball that leaves an awkward hang during the date. Plan for every scenario that might occur, don't just accept everything will go according to plan.
Step Two: Think About What to Talk About During the Date
Try to avoid letting the conversation drop and avoid long awkward pauses! Tricky, I know, but it’ll be helpful in the long run. Find some things you two have in common so that you have something to talk about during the date. No one likes a dry conversation! Show a good amount of your personality, whether it's through conversation or clothing, be sure you’re able to be the best you possible. That way your date can get a better understanding of who you are. Also, don't be on your phone all the time. That's a sure way to make yourself seem uninterested! A real conversation can be hard to come by so be attentive, make sure you're actually listening and not just talking at someone the whole time.
Step Three: Boundaries
Third and most importantly, respect your partner’s space and boundaries. It can be difficult to be comfortable around someone you just met and the anxiety-prone person inside of you is probably freaking out. You want the other person to feel comfortable with you, and making unreciprocated advances or prying too hard into something is just ultimately not lit. Giving ample space when together and communicating beforehand can make all the difference in ensuring someone feels comfortable and open with you.
Step Four: Embracing the Process
Dating is never a sure shot, ultimately you are getting to know someone for romantic purposes, and there are chances that you may not align well with someone. You can't let that deter you from moving forward and continuing on though, there are a lot of people in this world, and an aspect of self-discovery in dating. The more people you get to know and open up to, the more you learn about how you yourself operate, and it can be very liberating. So have patience, because there is more to it then just ending up with a partner, this is a beautiful process.